I wish everyone on blog a Happy New Year 2008
I hope you all have an awesome time tonight !!!

These are actual instruction labels on
consumer goods:

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Lux soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)
(Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this..)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

Almost Perfect Life

An old man is sitting on a park bench crying his eyes out. A young jogger comes by and asks him what is the matter.

The old man says, "I'm a multimillionare, I have a great big house, the fastest car in the world and I just married a beautiful blonde bombshell who satisfies me every night in bed whether I like it or not (sob)."

The young jogger says, "Man, you have everything I have ever dreamed for in my life. What could be so wrong in your life that you are sitting here in the park crying?"

The old man says, "I can't remember where I live."

It's sooooo Cute

Merry Christmas to all bloggers

IT'S CHRISTMAS DAY ALL IS SECURE

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

HE LIVED ALL ALONE

IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE MADE OF PLASTER AND STONE

I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE

AND TO SEE JUST WHO IN THIS HOME DID LIVE

I LOOKED ALL ABOUT A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE

NO TINSEL NO PRESENTS NOT EVEN A TREE

NO STOCKING BY THE MANTLE JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH

SAND

ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES OF FAR DISTANT LANDS

WITH MEDALS AND BADGES AWARDS OF ALL KINDS

A SOBER THOUGHT CAME THROUGH MY MIND

FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT IT WAS DARK AND DREARY

I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER ONCE I COULD SEE

CLEARLY

THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING SILENT ALONE

CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME

THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER

NOT HOW I PICTURED A LONE BRITISH SOLDIER

WAS THIS THE HERO OF WHOM I'D JUST READ

CURLED UP ON A PONCHO THE FLOOR FOR A BED

I REALISED THE FAMILIES THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT

OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS WHO WERE WILLING

TO FIGHT

SOON ROUND THE WORLD THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY

AND GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS DAY

THEY ALL ENJOY FREEDOM EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR

BECAUSE OF THE SOLDIERS LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE

I COULDN'T HELP WONDER HOW MANY ALONE

ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE IN A LAND FAR FROM HOME

THE VERY THOUGH BROUGHT A TEAR TO MY EYE

I DROPPED TO MY KNEES AND STARTED TO CRY

THE SOLDIER AWAKENED AND I HEARD A ROUGH VOICE

'SANTA DON'T CRY THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE

I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM I DON'T ASK FOR MORE

MY LIFE IS MY GOD, MY COUNTRY. MY CORPS'

THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER AND DRIFTED TO SLEEP

I COULDN'T CONTROL IT I CONTINUED TO WEEP

I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS SO SILENT AND STILL

AND WE BOTH SAT AND SHIVERED FROM THE COLD NIGHTS

CHILL

I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE ON THAT COLD DARK NIGHT

THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOUR SO WILLING TO FIGHT

THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER WITH A VOICE SOFT AND

PURE

WHISPERED 'CARRY ON SANTA ITS CHRISTMAS DAY ALL IS

SECURE'

ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT

'MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT'

THIS POEM WAS WRITTEN BY A PEACE KEEPING

REASONABLE.

PLEASE WOULD YOU DO ME THE KIND FAVOUR OF SENDING

wish then I want to do what I can to grant it!!! Don't you?!?!?

Well as in the title is was a crazy weekend.

It all started on Friday when i had to travel to see my grandparents. I love them to bits and they have been married 50 years (this year).
I'm having a conversation as we travel about the fact that marriage isn't so important these days, it's not like it used to be i say.
I arrive at my grandparents to find them squabbling over the heating ! or should i say the lack off !
So i think i was proved right on that !! 50 years and i'm surprised they haven't killed each other yet
Well it went from there, my gran god bless is losing her marbles slowly and my grandad is a stubbon old bas****d !!
Time keeping is a must breakfast, dinner and tea is more military than in the Navy
So to say my first night was very entertaining !!
The next day (Sat) was just the same but more laughs at their expense !! You just have to love them !!
You have to decide what you are having for tea at breakfast then go shopping which bore's the hell out of most people, for what you are going to eat that evening.
But bless my Auntie and Uncle come for a visit my god sends !! But it is so cold in the house they never take their jackets off (this is normal) !! We arrange to meet again but at their's just for the warmer value !! i will be staying at their's over xmas just for the night !
I decide to take a quick shower before we all go out for the evening well that was a bad idea ! I have swam in alot of sea's this year with being away !! The sea in South Georgia (thats near the antartic)was warmer than my shower !!
Once i got out and went back into the room i was blue and they all asked if i was ok all i could do was shake and sit in front of the fire for 10 mins to thaw out lol.
My grandad bless him loves a whiskey or 10 and thinks he knows the world and if you have done it he has done it twice !!
He did try this with me until i pointed out he hated flying and had never been near the Falklands !! lol he did actually go quite after this until we got him home.
Bed time is a nightmare !! first the radio has to be on at 20db's then the dog will start to make weird noises and my gran god bless will bang all the doors for a while. To say i had a restfull night sleep would be lie !!! I'm glad to be back home in a warm house, no dogs, no radio that i want to put on !!!!
So a really top weekend i'm glad to be back roll on back to work lol
So rant out of the way i hope you all had a good weekend and have a wicked monday (yes you can have a wicked monday) !!

Pinched from modone1966 - Thanx hun x

1 Life is short
2 Break the rules
3 Forgive quickly
4 Kiss slowly
5 Love truly
6 Laugh uncontrollably D
7 Never regret anything that made you smile
8 Don't skive off work to watch a match especially France v England
9 Send postcards - its rude not too!
10 If you love someone - TELL THEM!

Proof i can do girly !!! Not many people believe me when i say i can !:D
But finally a pic to share. This is at the decommissioning ball for HMS Dumbarton Castle.